EXTRA // 5.09.02

YOU DON'T NEED THEM
by Harris O'Malley

Hi there. I'm the writer of DOING THE WORK, SAVANT's work journal about getting into comics, and I've got something to get off my chest.

People are fucking idiots.

Over at the SAVANT forums, it's been posted that Dark Horse is currently featuring a contest, where creators can submit stories for an anthology, then have them voted on by the masses each month. At the end of a year, the winner, chosen by the editorial staff at Dark Horse from the monthly winners a year gets $1000, and all stories are eligible to be published in a "Best of Stripsearch" anthology. They've got a website with more details, but since I can't seem to get to it right now, I'll have to just go with what I've seen at the forum.

I'll be honest: my first thought was to submit a story to the contest.

My second thought was to tie the first thought to a chair, stake it through the heart, cut off the head, douse the body in gasoline and set the damn thing on fire.

Why? Why should I be down on the chance for lots of artists to get exposure and even a shot at publication?

I'll tell you why.

Because it's a fucking con.

That's right. It's a big, goddamn trap.

Oh, don't get me wrong. I'm definitely not saying that Dark Horse is running a fake contest. It's not like the editorial staff is sitting around like Auric Goldfinger's minions, plotting to rip off the innocent entrants. But it's just another case of people being deluded into thinking that this might be their big break.

Let's get something straight:

You. Don't. Need. Them.

I'm friends with Daniel Carroll, the writer and artist of ART LESSONS over at thesmallpress.com. He's currently looking for artists for an online comic anthology, called E-Volution. Recently, we've been talking about how hard it's been getting good submissions for his anthology, even for pay. Admittedly, not much pay, but come on; you're getting a chance to practice at somebody else's expense.

He said, and I agree with him, that too many people want to shoot straight for the top. The big dogs. Marvel. DC. Image. Yes, even Dark Horse. Now, most of the big dogs aren't taking work they didn't ask for, and while these wannabe's are busy crying that nobody will publish them, Dan's screaming for submissions. The man wants your work. He wants to give you Money. He wants to give you Exposure. You are busy ignoring him, because Dark Horse might, might, throw you a bone.

Reality check time, folks. DC doesn't want your blind submissions. Dark Horse doesn't want them. Oni doesn't want them. AIT/Planet-Lar doesn't want them. Marvel takes them so that their interns have something to do.

Here's a little known secret. Actually, it's not really a secret, but so few people seem to know about this that it might as well be the best-kept secret in the industry:

Every comic company is running a contest. It's called "Make Good Comics." To win, you need to, duh, make good comics. Do not go to them. If you win, they will come to you. They will give you Work. They will pay you Tall Dollars. It's pretty simple, really, but people don't seem to understand this. They're too busy looking for the secret way in, the correct Masonic handshake that will get them the riches and fame that they're sure to get.

You're not going to get it, because you don't need it. You don't need DC or Marvel to read your pitch and you certainly don't need a fucking contest to give you permission to make comics. You just need to want to make comics. It's an instinct, a primal rage. An urge to create; it's a burning desire to create comics and when people throw up roadblocks to making them, you kill and eat the motherfucker as you go past them.

You want to get into comics? Make some goddamn comics. Put pen to paper and make some comics yourself. Run down to your local Quick-E-Copy, slap it on the Xerox and keep hitting that big green button until you've got yourself a print-run. Congratulations, you've just been published.

Not quite what you wanted? Wanted that glossy, color cover and 50# offset interiors? Open the phone book, fire up Google, find some printers and start making phone calls. Don't complain about the money. You can get the money. Sell your Ultimate Spider-Man collection on E-Bay. Live on ramen and miso soup for a month. Don't make it a Blockbuster night. Sell the hair. Sell your plasma. If you want to do it that badly, you'll find the money.

If you don't want it that badly, then shut up about it. There are no excuses. You're annoying the people around you, and frankly, you're making yourself look stupid.

Any idiot can get into comics. Hell, I've done it; I'm just some random jerk who woke up one morning and decided to make comics. IT'S NOT THAT HARD. You just have to know the secret: Don't go to them. Make good comics, and they will come to you.

Discuss this column on the SAVANT forum.